but he sent me something more

i got someone i could always confide in

a bestie for sure.

you were the guy

i could always count on

to be right by my side

and show me where i belong.

you made me smile

when i was sad

you calmed me down

when i was mad.

you showed me what a friend was

you were always there and true

you were there helping me every step of the way

no matter what we went through.

we had our ups and downs

but our friendship was so strong

we didn't let anything come between us

because you and me belonged.

my feelings changed for you

as days and nights went by

i told you i loved you

you rejected my love and made me cry.

now I'm really confused

and don't understand whats happened

i hope this doesn't stuff us

even though i wanna be more than friends.

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004
I'll paint you a rainbow as a gift from me,

then hang it from heaven for the whole world to see.

On a canvas of love I'll cover your fears,

with a soft brush I'll dry all your tears.

I'll paint you a rainbow with feelings so deep,

my stroke will be gentle, my touch you may keep.

On a palette of words I will tenderly blend,

colorful thoughts with bright verses to send.

I'll paint you a rainbow in reds, blues and gold,

stretched like loving arms ready to enfold.

And deep in the center of the most vibrant hue,

I'll etch from memory the essence of you.

I'll paint you a rainbow, a bridge to my heart,

so loneliness and pain can begin to depart.

Just look up at the sky when life hits a bend,

I painted a rainbow for YOU my friend.


Tuesday, Aug. 17, 2004
happiness is the state of being happy XD


Sunday, Aug. 15, 2004
Hmm. mi finally typing this on notepad before copying it over coz my internet xplore sorta haf problem? i rewrote dat entry 3 times? and it was lyke so long? yepp. was talking about trust. maybe my close fren would haf noe wad happen last last week i guess. if i counted correctly.. well~ yepp. it was a point at a time when i really duno who to trust within that group of friends. i mean it always come to a point of time when everything around you is in a total mess. Everyone seemed to be lying. Nobody seemed to be telling the truth. Maybe at times in life such events happen and just wear you out totally? Maybe im really sorry for not trusting the people whom im supposed to trust. Those times was too confusing. I really was stressed out and everything. Im really sorry to those people. Maybe sometimes things like this happen to bond people more together. However these events also hurt one another too. The curelity of reality is you are unable to accept it no matter how straight it is towards you. Reality is the only thing you can believe in cause it will never let you down. It is the only thing that it is real. Maybe in life we have to learn to keep happiness in everything we do. Try to remain happy all the time? Maybe the worst thing is that you put too much trust into one person. Maybe im just crapping here but sometimes putting too much trust in one can be quite hurtful at times. however does the relationship improve as more trust are added? I really dunno.. not a professional counsellor here or whatever rubbish crap. Everyone of us have to face reality in life. It is the one and only thing you can believe in. Why believe in dreams? It's only your sub conscious mind. It doesnt even exist. In fact it never did? Why believe in fairytales? They are even a more bull shyt things? Living many years of your life with everyone telling you that all stories start in once upon a time and ends with happily ever after. So you live your life being that you are in that cute little fairytale of yourself and then when you grow up u finally realized that the life u living isnt a place of fairys and happiness and u have to face reality daily. no more happily ever after. none- at all. So what do we live for? We live to do what we love to do. Our time on this earth is counted short? So you can live 80 years of your life and not doing what u lyke to do? What's the point of living your life then? You live your life- I live mine. A selfish concept? Maybe~ In life for me there is only one motive. to be happy- wadz the point of living a life filled with sorrow? Is there a meaning of life then? Few things scientist cant solve? What are we made of. Why are we on this earth. MAybe yhe book was right. Religion was used to fill up the gaps that science cannot cover. HOw much i love dan brown the author =x sometimes if you really can afford the time. Listen carefully to the lyrics of the songs. Some makes real meaning. Some dont. But those which does. treasure it. Treasuring stuffs is another important lesson in life you gotta learn. You'll never know when it's gone. forever- maybe we live life to survive the reality that is ahead of us which makes us stronger as time past bY~~~


Friday, Aug. 13, 2004
hihi~ oh man. guess i reali duno how to time. was timer and it was quite freaky? everyone said i time too fast.. but when u time itz totally a diff thing? =x well~ dnt test tml and im still not sure of wad to study.. yepp. i think reading books is so much much more interesting. XD yepp yepp. hmm. maybe some people wanna live in the past. the past may contain happy memories


Thursday, Aug. 12, 2004
hmmz.. todae was.. science test. think i screwed up as usual.. when did i ever not screwed up? haish. life is screwed. sorta read finish a book in class todae. borrowed during recess and finished it when sch ends. lols. damn boring lo. i skip alot of chapters. read the last 4 chapters i think. the book is the promise.damn crap la. the whole story is totally boring lo. yepp. den borrowed a john grisham book and the follow your heart book. waha. think tonight i read finish the follow your heart book den over the weekend i read the grisham book den later sundae mh lend mi hopefully da vinci code k. yepp~ im goin crazy. next week got chi test. oops. dnt is lyke.. SATURDAE? omg!! shucks. which me good luck man. oops. the interview =x dun wanna think of it too much lo.. yepp yepp. mayb if i din even get the email i alreadi hack liao. waha. im such a hacker. lols. hack eR. fine. im getting crazy. datz wad everyone is saying. but crazy is better den being sad lo. lalala. yepp yepp. i wanna sleep le.. bb.


Tuesday, Aug. 10, 2004
rubbish. wow. how exotic this name can be. waha. the ja[E] family sia~ wHee- lame-ed. duno why todae so freak pissed off lo. scolded almost everyone and im still so pissed. wonder last night dream wad rubbish dream. hmm. duno la. jaelyn. still abit weird la. but hu cares. try my best not to change it la. but itz a little to exotic. waha. jaesal and jaekiel. rubbish~ oops. am i not supposed to use that. hmm. guez i was so siaoded last nite. still got the syn thingy. pretti cool yea? lols. yepp yepp. the weather is currently minus degrees here.. fireworks okay la.. dey shot vv high but dun haf last year the big big big big nice finale. yepp. but quite nice alreadi la. erm. aniwae. juz wanna wish some people all the best for the CAs tommorow k? siaoded sch lo. 3 daes 6 subjects. think can study meh. rubbish sch=x oops. yepp yepp. haish. tml is audition. duno la. wad mood am i gonna have for it.. well~ lalala~ guess now i haf to be happy. yepp yepp. motivation in life is to be happi. if u are not happi den why live life. hmm. sometimes mi wanna go heaven take a look who i will mee. guez i haf to wait till im 84 years old =x nono. 83. hmm. but dey say gerrs live longer. lols. hmm. duno leh. wad important lessons will i learn then. oops. i havent done my hw. shucks. pray dat i will be alive. or mayb dead so i can c wad lessons to be learn. mayb 1 would be remember to do yr hw. =x fine.. cya~ buaiz^^


Monday, Aug. 09, 2004
Life is full of lots of up and downs,

And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,

And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take

you down,

It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,

When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,

But you might feel better if you let me walk with you

by your side,

And when you need a shoulder to cry on,

When you need a friend to rely on,

When the whole world is gone,

You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,

I'll be your shoulder to cry on,

I'll be there,

I'll be a friend to rely on,

When the whole world is gone,

you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.

All of the times when everything is wrong

And you're feeling like

There's no use going on

You can't give it up

I hope you work it out and carry on

Side by side,

With you till the end

I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand

no matter what is said or done

our love will always continue on

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on

everyone needs a friend to rely on

When the whole world is gone

you won't be alone cause I'll be there

I'll be your shoulder to cry on

I'll be there

I'll be the one you rely on

when the whole world's gone

you won't be alone

cause I'll be there!

And when the whole world is gone

You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....

Monday, Aug. 09, 2004
hihi. on the phone with addy now~ lols.. yepp yepp. very sianded la. yesterday so busy. morning go tuition. oh man~ science kinda sucks this day. den later go pan pacific eat with my family and my bro's gF.. hmm. the food very nice but eat until very extremely full. waha~ den i was reading book. lols. den later go for chinese tuition. then majella came but cannot sit wif us.. den later must read some stuooopid passage. waste my time sia. den.. go buy stickers. haha. bought sakura stickers.. yay. now i can decorate the envelopes more liao. then bought alot of winnie the pooh one.. lols. mayb next week go buy sumore if the pasar malam still dere. lols. yepp yepp. okay. den i read finish the 5 people u meet in heaven. i love the lessons learn dat part.. wonder who would be the 5 people i would meet in heaven.. wonder will it be my korr. fine. rubbish again. affected me in one wae or another. every way or another =x hmm. den who would be the other 4. lols. im kinda siao la. im onli 14 and im thinking of who i would meet in heaven. im only fourteen- fine. im still thirteen. my bdae coming liao *hints* yepp yepp. also duno eat wad la. addy wan cafe carteL.. duno go where. i wan go place got neoprint shop one. lols!! oh man. i dun wanna think about it again. itz my last year in 2e.. cries~ why do i always think of it.. dun even know wad i wanna take for the subj combi and im thinking of death now. oh great~ why izzit alwaes liddat one.. maybe my brains are screwed somewhere.. well~ i realli dun wanna b dat busy. give me some free time.. eRm. aniwae. wanna wish SOME people who are supposed to be studying right now yea. go study study and study. study and study. lalala~ studies are vv important. so u should study. yepp. all the best and please dun fall alseep while studying k? lalala~ cya!!


Friday, Aug. 06, 2004
okay. wad can i say man. NDP drill is finally over. will miss drill la. but at least wun get burnt animore- oh great. i think the speech is so nice dat i stood for so long k. english still must chinese. sch speech still must haf MOE speech. they pro la. no rubbish also can crap so long. waha. my boots rocks k XD got people say shiny leH!! waha. den later do alot of crappy stuffs la. yepp yepp. and im now at home. lalala. feelin lyke a nerd reading book everywhere i go. but not my fault wad. the book so interesting. lols. law books are nice. ok la. no story line 1 la the book. but law his nice. interesting subject. aiya. if my eng improve mayb can consider become lawyer. damn cool. lols. earn money nice nice also. oops. subject combi. take wad? die- my dad say take chem physics geog and history. my bro say take triple sci and geog. no lit- nice rite? aiya. hmm. hack la. i dun care studying. i onli wan read books. lol. siaoded la. eh. i lazi le la. bb.


Thursday, Aug. 05, 2004
hey hey. im cook. waha. tml i will be over cook-ed. yepp yepp. tml is ndp. REAL one. the REAL THING. yepp yepp. abit sad but.. lalala~ im relaxing. screwed up for chinese test. badly- who cares la. the most i drop higher chinese which is.. ok fine. a very big deal. eh. big mistake. die- bye.


Wednesday, Aug. 04, 2004
yea yea~ life is so exciting these days dat im screwing up. i think im sunburnt-cooked. and everything. sunburnt on my neck dere. kinda sux but hu cares. betta remind myself to put sunblock. nvr gonna end up being dat dark lyke some people which kinda sux. okay.i haf 400pages to complete by sundae. the book. i think itz 396 pages more la. tml got geog test. aft geog test can read yea? lols. den fridae nite dun sleep lo read the book. nice. sundae- must return book le. yepp yepp. tml geog test. letz see. i onli did the notes but havent even read yet.. waha. yepp yepp. cried last nite but hu cares- wad is over is over and over and over. just let life go on. waha. din wasted my tears last nite. lala~ wHee- im hyper coz im burnt- rubbish. think tml get sick liao. bb.


Tuesday, Aug. 03, 2004
yepp. another dae. i duno wad the hell im doing. just refusing to accept the fact. yes- i refuse k? i dun wanna noe. i dun wanna noe wad is gonna happen. i dun haf the courage to know wad will happen- fine~ tell the whole world for all i care. i dun understand and i dun wanna understand. mayb i admit. i wanna noe why. i wanna hear yr explanation. but im scared its not something i wld wanna hear. im scared. accept the facT? tell me how- wad u wanna do. wad can i do. i nvr wanted dis to happen. i nvr- mayb things will change as time pass bY. it will~ cause it already had.


Monday, Aug. 02, 2004
teLL me to put my trust back in you again- can you?