Thursday, February 16, 2006
mmm. had another weird weird weird dream/nightmare last night again. wadsup with me. ha. slept at 1030 due to some pathetic reasons i do not wish to say yea. took some panadol and went to sleep. baAH.
it so started when i was caught for being involved in some murder case of an old lady. i dunno why. all i knew i did NOTHING wrong. but i was involved and they caught me up okay. they caught me ! and the next moment. i forgot if there was court stuffs but the next moment i knew that i was gonna get executed. cause of a crime i did not do. at that moment i really felt pathetic. all in my mind was. hello. im barely 16 and im gonna get executed? dont ask me why it was execution okay. it just WAS execution. so i was like there. helpless. stranded. alone. why am i going to die so soon? then i went into the execution room. there was blood lah. this huge muscular guy took the sword. u noe those type of curve sword. those in those wu xia xiao shuo type. ya then my supposingly partner was executed liaos. i didnt see the body nor the head. only saw the floor was red. then i started going crazy. im gonna die now like HELLO? I HAVE A LIFE, I HAVE A FAMILY, I HAVE FRIENDS AND U WANT ME TO DIE NOW? i was so so so not prepared to leave the world. imagine all these going through my head.. then i pleaded with the person in charge. the person din let. and then, i ran. the running part was kinda insane. i jumped from tree to tree. erm, means i grabb the branches from tree to tree lah. and guess who was running after me? i duno why but it was kelly. lol. i really dunno why it's her leh. but she was chasing me x= then i ran ran ran ran ran. the distance was like from marine parade to my house lah. i have no idea why. i kept running. the first thing i did when i reached home was to start writing 'goodbye' letters to people. pokeytoots was included. i used some construction a4 paper and crayons? which seem quite real caused i really have construction coloured a4 paper under my table. den it's like so so so realistic. i was in my room, mugging with the goodbye letters. screams. then later i didnt know wad happen. i din write finish the letter, then i went to hide cause i sense kelly coming. i was cropped at the corner with some blanket covering me. den i stayed there. then i started thinking. why did i have to die blah blah blah blah. then i din noe wad happen. the next scene i was in school. then i duno why. nobody knew about my execution thing yet lah. den i was trying to act normal. then later i was outside of my class and liuying came walking by, then its like she already knew about my execution thing lah.. then later she duno telling me what thing about christian stuffs lah. then i started crying. i cry cause i cant bear to die or wad? i was so freak out. eh. i really cried lah. morning wake up by eye surely with contacts not wet one lor. got one time i cried in my sleep. could barely open my dear eyes the next morning. hmms. but as i cried, in the dream i was like.. would my contacts dropp. duno why sias. then i woke up after duno what happen. i wasnt in the dream long enough to see my head being chopped off. i was at the edge of death. i experienced it in my dream.
so wads the conclusions now? haish. this dream really made me realised that im afraid to die. im not prepared to die. i dowanna die. there are too many things in the world i have to live for. it kidna means that if i die suddenly now, it would be full of regrets. there are too many things in the world i have yet to see.. haish. haish. this dream really made me think alot. brought me to the edge of death. wad does death means. why was i so scared. why.
wellx. gotta mugg some stuffs le. double sighs.
`h0neystars
___nothatcomplicated*
Thursday, February 16, 2006
