Saturday, January 21, 2006
had things get better? half no half yes. wellxx. somehow i just love the idea of busy. it takes away all my free time of thinking about certain stuffs. and u noe how much these ideas bring back sweet but untrue memories anymore. lolx. so many years have past and im still dwelling on the same thing called memories. wellx. there's really a thousand and one thing i wish i dared to do but it's just hard and hard and hard to be done. really. somehow i realised im not that straightforward lah. i have my weakness too. in other words it sounds like being afraid to get pulled down or smt liddat? in other words im just afraid of failure. ha so if u think it the other way round.. erm. anione gets it? sorry for changing the password and not telling. im really afraid of people asking me questions i cant answer. im afraid of my dreams and how they gave me hope only waking up and facing reality the next day that dreams are still dreams in the end. not everything is under our own control and that makes it hard. thinking about it i still dont understand if im a realistic person? i tend to tell myself to think this way but the other side of me keeps thinking things the other way round and how i wish it would be but upon thinking again i kinda wish it never happen.this year is so exciting can. it's only past 20days and WOW. i think i have experienced all the thousand and one feelings that ever existed. somedays im HIGH. somedays im AP. somedays, somedays. no one just understood me. lol. i wish i was a silencer. i can shut everyone up. lol. in actual fact silencer is.. someone who kills ppl to kip their mouth shut? eh not really lah. mmm. i duno what im talking. im invisible. really. somehow keep thinking one day i would vanish from the surface of the earth. and im not sure when the one day would come.and if one day one day ONE DAY till then i would have realised that i have tied myself in 1001 knots and after that one day i would realise that i cant untie it. im sorry for not trusting. im sorry for not having anymore faith. im sorry for being moody.it's just me? maybe i've changed, unknowingly.somehow wondered if someone ever bothered. even if someone ever bothered but i guess that that someone never really did. it's nothing but just catching wind. c a t c h i n g w i n d . . .or chasing after your own shadow.or simply just start digging a hole with a garden spade and soon u will find urself stuck at the bottom of a great deep hole.or its just learning to fly. so many examples le. i think im crazyyy.wellx. can someone actually bother to care. maybe it wasnt obvious enough. someone help me.
`h0neystars
___nothatcomplicated*
Saturday, January 21, 2006
